You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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