Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
