A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
