You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
