just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
