I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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