haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
