her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
