just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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