after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
