Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
