I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
