why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
