I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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