You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
