so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
