im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
