That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
