we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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