ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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