she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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