I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
