I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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