Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
