I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
