on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
