Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
