We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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