If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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