a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
