At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
