it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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