Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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