i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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