NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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