Someone shit on the floor
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
