I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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