You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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