**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
this beer tastes like vomit already
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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