plz talk dirty to me
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
This is classic penis vs brain.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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