u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
