His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
