At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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