Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
