If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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