Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
What changed your mind?
Being sober
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize