I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
