dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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