is your mom at the bar?
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
