just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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