check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize