Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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