this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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