it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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