Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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