Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize