HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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