I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
