please come you make the beer taste better
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
