marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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