I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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