Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You're like the curious george of whores
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
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