Pappa wants mamma naked
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
nutella sex= disaster
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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