kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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