Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
