You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
