Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
