Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
