Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
