just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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