im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
